Tuesday, May 16, 2006

MY Speech

"We are a nation of laws, and I decide which ones to enforce."

"First we must protect our beautiful spacious borders. We will send a large unit of armed troops to the southern border along with jets, helicopters, motion sensors, infrared cameras, and Humvees. We will build walls and use bunker busting bombs to destroy underground tunnels. We will find and destroy weapons of mass destruction, and we will only stay for a year." (sound familiar?)

"Amnesty would be unfair to those who are second generation and third generation citizens, and it would invite further amber waves of illegally harvested grain."

"I know, let's not call it amnesty, I'LL call it Tim ."

"I believe that illegal immigrants who managed to sneak into MY country without being caught deserve to stay. But only if they vote Republican every election, learn to speak english minimally as good as I does, and work for a number of years either in our new "Legal Foreign Worker Identification Card Factory", in the Armed Forces patrolling the border, in Virginia painting the purple mountains, or in the fruited plains."

"I believe that God has shed His grace on thee lowly illegal immigrant to build a path to American assimilation. To join the brotherhood of the over taxed, and underpaid of MY country, from border to grimy border."

"I believe that you can be a fool to some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can only hope to be a fool to all of the people all of the time."


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