Thursday, March 23, 2006

Don't get sick

Welcome Back To Automated Medicare

"Hello and welcome to MY new Medicare Prescription Drug Benefit. To make sure Medicare and medicine is modern, I've created this great new automated phone system called 1-800-MEDICARE.

I've always believed that if the consumer has got more options from which to choose, it provides higher quality.

This system is geared toward you, the elderly.

-If you have prior authorization to receive your medicine, press 1, now
-If you don't have prior authorization to receive your medicine, hang up, now
-If you think your drugs are actually on the list of approved drugs, press 2, now
-If you are glad to try other drugs that might not work, press 3, now
-If you know what a formulary drug is, press 4, now
-If you are o.k. with only a partial dosage, press 5, now
-If you need your full dosage to stay healthy, hang up now
-If you need more than one prescription filled, press 6, now and pray
-If you can decipher confusing, conflicting and erroneous information, press 7, now
-If you are prepared to be denied essential medication, press 8, now
-If you have already changed your plan and are ready to kill yourself, press 9, now

There are many restrictions associated with all Medicare plans. Information regarding the terms of the restrictions are unavailable at this time.


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